Where Has the Time Gone?

Whoa, guys.

Just... whoa.

It's been a while. For those of you who follow me on tumblr (geeky-jez), you know that I have still been around online, but mostly in reblogging rather than generating my own content. I got swallowed up by my own life for the past year or so. Since our last visit:

• I finished my cosplay project, but had to cut it back to just finishing the helmet, due to getting flooded with more hours at work.
• I was promoted twice (with only a few weeks between promotions) into two full time positions and began managing my store.
• I got a second job as an artist working at an up and coming game development studio in town.
• I have had all of my free time sucked into staffing problems, training new people, dealing with some complete assholes, and getting generally depressed that my retail day job was taking me away from being able to do many of the things I love.

And then, in the first week of March:

• We found out that one family member is going through a cancer scare and had her roommates move out on her with no notice and without paying their last month's rent.
• Another family member collapsed, had to be rushed to the hospital, was showing signs of dementia, and had us panicking about his well being.
• A friend got beaten up by their partner (who is thankfully now an 'ex'.)
• I got a severe stomach flu that kept me from eating any proper food for a full week (and even then, it took me about a week after I could eat again to be able to not get nauseated by the smallest amount of food).
• I was still having to manage my store via phone while heavily medicated on drugs that made me either sleep or start slipping into a dreamy stupor of slowed mental ability any time I was forced to stay awake.
• I had a break down where I realized that I had to put in my two week's notice at work - not only to handle the possibility of having to leave town to help my family, but also because I feel I need to re-evaluate my priorities. Realize that I am the type of person who hates to give up in anything, even if I am miserable with stress, so walking away from a job is terrifying in it's own right.

All of which happened between Monday the 4th and Sunday the 10th.

March also brought us news of the attempted suicide of a friend. 

Understandably, I feel a bit overwhelmed.

It's scary to walk away from a job, but at the same time it feels oddly liberating. I am finally getting the opportunity to rediscover what I actually like to do with my time. It has only been a recent change (my time only became my own again on the 24th) - but the promise of having control over my day again is enticing. I hope to re-approach the commission work that I had to close down due to lack of time - and I hope to restart this aspect of my life from the perspective of a businesswoman as well as an artist. While the stability of having someone else hand me a paycheck is alluring, I also dream about being able to control my own fate more and overwhelm myself with work that I find stimulating and enjoyable.

I will put together that tutorial on the Skyrim helmet - which turned out to be freakin' awesome, if I do say so myself. And I will commit to being more diligent about pursuing my passions (even if I do have to wander back into a day job to pay the bills).

Allonzy- Alonzo!