Many times when I'm recording something, I jot down some thoughts ahead of time and I start to record as if it were a performance - the words are mine, the thoughts are mine, and I'm not stiffly reading from a script, but I try to stay brief and concise and animated. It makes it easier to edit and creates a better end product. To watch the raw footage, you'd often see me repeating myself frequently, going back to do another take of whatever point I'd last said, because I want to make sure it looked and sounded right.
This is not one of those videos.
Recording this kind of got away from me. I was not really in control. I started out with a vague sense that I wanted to talk about my feelings - that I needed to get something off of my chest. I had been looking back through footage of a deceased friend and was overcome with emotion while talking about it. I stopped thinking about the fact that I was making a video. I just started talking.
This is probably one of the most honest and intimate moments I've ever recorded... and that scares me a little.
I edited it, thinking I would cut a lot of it out. When the final cut was made, I wondered if I'd even post it. I posted it, not sure if I was going to promote it at all - maybe it could sit in obscurity in my Youtube channel and only the occasional stranger would notice it.
I've obviously changed my mind and decided to share it.
Still not sure how I feel about it, though.
