12.03.06

I honestly don't know how I feel about this video.

Many times when I'm recording something, I jot down some thoughts ahead of time and I start to record as if it were a performance - the words are mine, the thoughts are mine, and I'm not stiffly reading from a script, but I try to stay brief and concise and animated. It makes it easier to edit and creates a better end product. To watch the raw footage, you'd often see me repeating myself frequently, going back to do another take of whatever point I'd last said, because I want to make sure it looked and sounded right.

This is not one of those videos.

Recording this kind of got away from me. I was not really in control. I started out with a vague sense that I wanted to talk about my feelings - that I needed to get something off of my chest. I had been looking back through footage of a deceased friend and was overcome with emotion while talking about it. I stopped thinking about the fact that I was making a video. I just started talking.

This is probably one of the most honest and intimate moments I've ever recorded... and that scares me a little.

I edited it, thinking I would cut a lot of it out. When the final cut was made, I wondered if I'd even post it. I posted it, not sure if I was going to promote it at all - maybe it could sit in obscurity in my Youtube channel and only the occasional stranger would notice it.

I've obviously changed my mind and decided to share it.

Still not sure how I feel about it, though.

Happy Day of Foodies!

 In honor of Thanksgiving, here's a heaping helping of blogness.

No way in Hell could I have finished that off...

Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. While my mom obviously did her part, Josh and I were able to kind of take over and give her a chance to relax. Between the two of us, we got everything timed perfectly. Go Team Venture! This year, we brined the turkey in a solution made of apple cider, vermouth and some leftover Riesling. Yum. It's easy to brine meats when it's so damn cold - we could just stick it in a container out in the garage without worrying about having room in the fridge. The meat ended up so juicy - I'm not a white meat kind of girl most of the time, but it was moist and full of deliciousness. One of the best turkey's I've ever had.

I'm currently nibbling on some of my homemade pie, now that I'm finished packing away tons of leftovers and cleaning the carcass for some turkey soup that's now wafting from the kitchen. I had a hell of a time making the crust last night - that dough just didn't want to be made and my mother's cuisinart died halfway through the process. Happy to say, it turned out deliciously. 

I have defeated you, fail crust demon!

I've been a bit delayed in my posting, mostly because life is just coasting at the moment. Work, work, work, day off, play Skyrim, play Saints Row, rinse, repeat.

Productivity black hole, I love you so much.

I'm getting a good chunk of hours at work, which is refreshing and soothes me a bit, considering that I'm going to be forced into getting my hours cut soon. At least it's recognized that my performance is good, but that is a very small comfort considering that I'm on the hunt for a second job (not counting the freelance work I'm also doing in my downtime.)

I'm making an effort to produce more content for YouTube. I have an audience there that I still can't explain... I wasn't producing with a particular audience in mind. But it makes sense to entertain them as best I can... Otherwise, I feel like someone peeking through the curtains while a crowd stands on their doorstep, waiting for something to happen.

 A little while back, I decided to weigh in on something that's been bugging me about the media coverage of the Occupy movement. I understand that it is hard to know quite what to do to quell an expression of social unrest, especially when there are not any clear solutions... but you know, typing more on it would just be repeating myself. Check out the video.

Goodnight all. I must leave you now, to lull myself to sleep with Skyrim and naked bears.

Wanna Get to Know Me Better?

Youtube and the Army of Fonzies

This week has absolutely beaten me.

There was a huge convention in town this week catering exclusively to teenagers. As I've previously mentioned, my workplace is directly connected to our convention center downtown. So, when they weren't doing whatever it was they were there to do at the exhibition, they lived in the mall. A mall swarming with restless teens in a party mood for what felt like days on end. It really makes me wonder: could I have been that obnoxious when I was that age?

Yeah, probably.

At times, it was hellish- one kid broke their leg after climbing on crap he shouldn't have, fistfights nearly breaking out, used condoms being found in places that are more skeevy than the average grossness of finding post-sex evidence out in public. (No evidence that any out of town teens were the ones who left those little gems, but they definitely contributed to the aura of chaos in which that sort of thing can happen without anyone noticing). The food court was a no man's land for the most part. To be fair, and in defense of the kids who were there, most of them were incredibly polite on an individual basis (It's weird being called Ma'am by kids who are only roughly 7 years younger than me.) and the city definitely appreciates the business they bring with them - but when they start screaming call and response games from one end of the mall to the other... let's just say, my nerves were completely shot when I was hearing kids yelling "Aaaaaayyy!" at the top of their lungs every 5-10 minutes.

This was the soundtrack to my week. Let that sink in.

I won't get into the other things stressing me out over this week, because I don't want this turning into Bitching Soapbox Hour, but suffice it to say I felt like I had a lot on my plate, which means that I feel totally devoid of creativity, clarity of mind, or mirth.

Thus, I present to you, a quick rundown of the corners of the internet I've been heading to in order to alleviate my tension and maybe get down with some giggles. Today, I'm looking specifically at you, Youtube:

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Watercooler Films is an awesome channel that I've been following for a while now. It all started with his series "Worst Movie Scenes of All Time" in which he finds some real gems and posts them in their pure form for your entertainment. It's like getting the best parts out of a so-bad-it's-good movie without actually having to sit through the tedious crap. I thank him for his sacrifice in doing that for me. He hasn't been posting new clips for Worst Movie Scenes all that frequently, but it's definitely worth checking out the archive. Right now, I'm enjoying his yearly 31 Horror Movies in 31 Days series in which he dedicates the month of October to short-but-sweet reviews of horror movies. While most of the films he picks out are atrocious, adding to the humor of the resulting review, I really appreciate that he doesn't simply tear each movie apart just for the sake of a funnier video. If there are positive qualities to a film, he'll tell you about it. And if it was like having his teeth pulled out, he'll definitely let you know.

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These two ladies get listed together because I find them at their funniest when they combine forces. They are such a fascinating mix of hot + nerd + genuinely weird that makes me jealous. If my Youtube page could be half as interesting as some of the random things they post, I'd be much more satisfied with myself. I'm kind of in love with this video starring both of them: it captures some of the hottest faces ever put to film (said with and without sarcasm). I've watched it an embarrassing number of times since it was posted earlier this month, probably because it reminds me of things I would have made with my friends in high school if we'd had the camera skills and the patience.

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I'm the kind of geek who seeks out intellectual stimulation, even if I don't necessarily agree with the points being made in one's persuasive argument. RSA Animate combines my love of somewhat high-brow philosophical and intellectual discussions on topics that effect our society and my love of doodling. Some may find the subject matter dry or hard to swallow, but I find this kind of thing fascinating and it makes me feel more alive - it inspires me to think more about the big picture when I'm getting too bogged down into the tiny passing details of my life that won't hold much weight in my future but seem so stressful in the moment.

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Epic Rap Battles of History is just plain silly and I love it. (Video NSFW due to language, btw.) They make some of the most random pairings for their rap battles. Some of them are logical in a way- Einstein and Hawking, Napoleon vs Napoleon Dynamite, Dumbledore vs Gandalf. But what would put Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers? What universe would put Genghis Kahn against the Easter Bunny? It is random, the raps are usually very well crafted, and the impersonations, while not always spot on, always amuse me.

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Thus ends my brief look into some of the things I use to amuse myself. I'm sure the list will be expanded over time, as this only scratches the surface of my internet haunts (seriously, there's a reason I hardly watch TV anymore).

Much love, deep breaths, and goodnight.

Horror Movie Horrors: The Perfect Host (2010)

Some movies you turn on really anticipating a positive experience. I went into The Perfect Host completely blind - having seen no trailers or hype for it and read no reviews. I turned on this Netflix listing simply because I like David Hyde Pierce.

Pierce: The Face of Horror.

And seriously, a horror film with David Hyde Pierce? The man I would cast to play Food Network's Alton Brown? I've always had an inkling that his acting ability far outweighed the parts I had seen him play, but I was understandably skeptical about seeing him in a horror movie role.

To be fair, The Perfect Host is much more of a thriller than a horror movie - and it is one of the best thrillers I've seen in recent years. It's subtle when it needs to be and does a wonderful job of slowly peeling back the layers of the story, providing a great number of twists and turns without giving you much in the way of exposition.

It's hard to summarize the plot without giving anything away. A fugitive, having just completed an armed robbery, is on the run when his identity is splashed all over the local media. Injured and needing a place to hide, he cons his way into a man's home (played by Pierce) as he prepares for a dinner party. Not all is as it seems, though, and he quickly finds himself regretting his choice of hide outs.

There is so much more going on in this plot. Wanting to avoid spoilers, I can't really elaborate further, but this film does a lot of "turning the tables" on it's characters. Unlike a lot of Hollywood twists, these aren't unbelievable events that come out of nowhere and really don't mesh with the plot. Instead, newcomer writer-director Nick Tomnay does a brilliant job in the planning and execution of this plot. You can tell that he carefully deconstructed his overall story and sprinkled those plot points like bread crumbs for the audience to pick up on. There is very little flat-out exposition. Instead, the audience is given all of the pieces they need to understand what is going on without anyone having to spell it out for them.

I definitely recommend this film. It's strange and mysterious as you learn more about Pierce's character, whom he plays perfectly. They leave a lot of questions unanswered in the end, but in a good way.

News Travels Fast v2.0

Holy Cameos, Batman!

There's another character thrown into the massive mix that is Arkham City: Deadshot. I'm seriously impressed with the line up they're creating. I really hope that the development team can pull it off well (I have faith in them) and that it doesn't turn into a mish mash of Batman drifting aimlessly from villain to villain just for the sake of them being a part of the roster. This game could be incredibly epic, though. Really looking forward to it.



Gaming + Porn = Duh.

 
Wait, so it's somehow news that young males like both video games and boobies? Apparently it's news worthy, as The Escapist recently had an article on their front page about Pwned by Girls (NSFW), a website started by two female gamers who wanted to join together their love of nudity and video games.

I'm a fan of playing games and not wearing clothes. Except for me that's usually more of a private affair and it has more to do with just not feeling like getting dressed for the day than any sexy times with a camera. Silly me. Maybe I'd be rich if I'd decided to market this idea earlier.


Gen Con and Mayfair Make Good Bedfellows.


So, you know from my previous little convention lovefest that I'm a fan of Gen Con. Well, I got an email a little while ago saying that Mayfair Games is upgrading their level of co-sponsorship for Gen Con to a more permanent arrangement. This last convention was a sign of things to come - Mayfair Games was able to provide over nine thousand game demos for Gen Con'ers to enjoy. While vendors are great and you definitely shouldn't miss the Artist's Alley (maybe I'll be there one day... maybe), game demos are kind of the meat and potatoes of Gen Con. It really is all about the games.


Well, all about the games and all the nerdiness that goes with it.

 
Txt better than bombs! #140BickeringDiplomacy

Apparently, the Taliban and Nato take out their aggressions online the same way fourteen year olds with internet connections do - via Twitter. The remarks made aren't really all that remarkable, as they simply express stances that each side take in opposition to one another and the judgements each side makes of the other. The only reason this is striking is simply because of how surreal it is. I think of passive agressive co-workers or siblings duking it out in the 140s, not Nato and the Taliban.

Chaos in Mexico

The latest news out of Mexico is quite horrifying, and I choose not to go into detail here as 1) It's a little too 'heavy' a subject for me to handle right now and 2) sources are a little fuzzy when it comes to confirming details.

However, this comment on Slashdot really caught my eye:

"While drug cartels in Mexico are disemboweling people they accuse of blogging about drug violence, Anonymous busies itself taking down Mexican government websites. With all the problems facing people in Mexico right now, including drug cartels extorting teachers for 50% of their pay and killing schoolchildren (thus shutting down the school system), Mexico's biggest oil field in terminal decline and drug cartels kidnapping busloads of people and forcing them into gladiator-style contests to the death, Anonymous' actions appear particularly petty."

Feel free to follow links to find out more. I'm honestly shocked that we don't pay more attention to the current state of affairs in Mexico here in the United States, considering they're our neighbors. Then again, this is coming from a Californian who is currently displaced in the Midwest. 

Whoops.

Netflix is set to lose about 1 million subscribers. Yikes. They think this is mostly due to the change in their through-the-mail pricing as well as the loss of some of their content (especially with the deal with Starz falling through.) I don't see them going anywhere soon, but it would be wise for them to consider some more options in accessing a broader array of content. Still, I'm an addict for streaming movies, and sometimes the more obscure it is, the better.

Anniversary

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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I can remember watching this and feeling a mixture of grief and comfort. It's what I needed to be told at the time. All I wanted was for someone to make me laugh again.

And sitting under your desk with cottage cheese is pretty cool.

10 Years Later

It's time to talk about something that's not fun. It's not amusing and it's not for entertainment. However, given the situation, I really feel like I need to write this down.

Today is the 10th of September, 2011. I don't need to tell you what event has it's 10 year anniversary tomorrow. For the past week, maybe longer, I have heard talk of 9/11 crop up in virtually every outlet I have for news. I won't lie; for the most part, I've been ignoring it. Part of me feels guilty about it, but part of me is completely jaded about the whole thing.

Me only months before 9/11.

Consider this: I was fourteen years and a few months old when it happened. I was old enough to understand the gravity of what was happening and yet young enough to have my formative years bombarded by the post-9/11 culture of the United States. I traveled A LOT as a kid (flying back and fourth between parents) and watched what had been a fairly enjoyable and exciting activity for me turn into one full of anxiety, suspicion, and high security. I grew up in a country where there was an intensified fear, suspicion and even hatred of the "other" - even though the terms that defined the "other" varied somewhat from time to time. People talk about how the United States came together after 9/11 and that is certainly true in the people to volenteered time, money and resources into helping their fellow man. But that's not the America I really ever got exposed to. I never saw any of that behavior (even though I know in retrospect it was happening throughout the nation). I watched the news very often as a teen, so I grew up with the stories of the latest threats and crimes, not the kindness in people's hearts. I felt the intense potential for coming together, like people desperately wanting to cling to each other into one giant national hug. But within months, that just seemed to slip away. The desire to feel some sort of resolution, to have something positive come out of the event, went unfulfilled for me. Instead, I just watched the country go back to the same in-fighting and pointing fingers that it has always done. To my young mind, it seemed that nothing had changed in the way we treated one another, just the way in which we wrapped ourselves in the flag and declared that those who disagreed with us must want to hurt America- be they our countrymen or not. I also had a family friend who is a close relative of John Walker Lindh... which, as you can probably imagine, gave me a fairly unique perspective on the "American Taliban" who was absolutely demonized into a two dimensional cartoon villain by most of the news reports I saw. (Note: I am not making a judgement here about what he did or the degree to which he deserved punishment, etc. I only bring it up because I grew up with a very real reminder that the "enemy" is a real human being and it's easy to forget that the real world is a very complicated place if you just listen to what you're told in the media.)

I couldn't help but feel jaded about the whole situation, as this anniversary approaches. I didn't want to hear news stories of people re-informing us about something that we haven't allowed ourselves to ever forget. Combine that with the fact that I thoroughly disagree with the direction our country has taken in reacting to the attacks, and I end up seeing 9/11 as just the beginning in a huge senseless tragedy.

And then I watched this absolutely stunning video about 9/11.

I think the simplicity of it is what really struck me. After all the talk about 9/11 and what it means, what changes it has or hasn't made in this country, the religious prejudice that has come out of it and whether or not it is justified, etc. etc. etc.

But to simply see it all again left me with no other option than to write this. It took me back to that morning, to waking up and going downstairs and seeing the second tower fall. It took me back to that feeling of absolute helplessness and confusion as I tried to process what had just happened, wanting desperately to watch the news but instead being shuffled off to school with no understanding of who or why or how, just that so many people had just died in a grotesque and completely random way. It took me back to being a young teen who realized that life is completely taken for granted: that I could have my life snuffed out in an instant and that it could have nothing to do with what I do with my life or how I choose to treat people. Being alive, I realized, was completely out of my control. Outside of suicide, living or dying was not something I could choose or control and I could be the most altruistic human being on Earth and still be killed in a completely random and senseless way. All those people had died, hadn't they? None of them had done anything to deserve it. Any ideas that I had about a world that was structured or purposefully fated was destroyed. Any faith that I tried to convince myself I had in anything beyond the great capacity for human goodness and evil pretty much vanished in the process of trying to understand and cope with what had happened. I will never not feel sorry, so intensely sorry, about those who died that day and the damage that was done. 9/11 is not something that is frequently on my mind, but I can't deny that it has had a huge effect on who I have become.

Photo from my trip to Ground Zero some years ago.

Deep breaths everyone. Thank you for letting me have that moment. I promise things will be more lighthearted shortly.

Horror Movie Horrors: The Inheritance

I stumbled across this movie when it was added to Netflix a little while ago. Seeing a few names I recognized (and the fact that I would enjoy just listening to Keith David read the phone book to me), I added it to the queue for a rainy day. Well, it's not quite rainy, but I do have a rare day off with nothing in particular to do, so I decided to check it out.

When the final credits rolled, I decided to check out some of the reviews for the movie (something I can't do when on my Xbox, which is how I access Netflix 90% of the time) and was kind of surprised. With every horror movie, you expect to see a lot of low ratings. Part of this is because horror movies tend to be crappy, but it can also be attributed to the fact that people can be incredibly picky about what they're looking for in a horror film. Some are looking for extreme gore and they don't care much about the plot, others look for compelling writing and performances, while still others are just looking to have the pants scared off of them. With a fairly broad scope of points to hit, it only makes sense that horror movies tend to get lower ratings.

Also, horror films tend to be shit.

But I was seeing review after review saying that this was the worst movie ever.

A short list of some horror movies that are worse than or equal to The Inheritance, limited by what I have personally viewed: 

Redneck Zombies
American Psycho 2: The All American Girl
Manos and the Hands of Fate
Gamebox 1.0 (which I've been meaning to write a review for)
Ticked Off Trannies with Knives (still trying to figure out how that got a high rating)
RoboGeisha (it's more of an action flick, but it has enough gore to be labelled horror)
Cabin Fever
Deadgirl
Transylmania
Satan's Little Helper
The Sitter
After.Life
Tooth and Nail
Any number of films featured on MST3K 

And that's not counting the number of films I've seen detailed reviews for that look 10 times worse. You want to call The Inheritance the worst movie of all time? Go watch some of the films reviewed by The Cinema Snob and then we can talk.

Now, I won't make any claims that I was watching this film with a serious critical eye. Today's movie choice was a film turned on as background noise while I spent some quality time beading.

Diet Coke helps the creative process.

But I will at least say that for a genre that is filled to the brim with stereotypical and formulaic slashers, this film was trying to do something a little different.

The story starts with a family reunion - five "cousins" from five close-knit families are called up to the old plantation where their ancestors were once enslaved for a get-together with their Elders. There was some confusion of people writing reviews thinking it was weird that two of these cousins were in a relationship, but they establish that these five are not actually related. Back in the days of slavery, there was a mysterious African shaman who was lynched but survived. He ensnared five slave families with promises of freedom, power, wealth and prosperity if they made sacrifices to him. Agreeing to do so, these families have stayed incredibly close to one another throughout the generations, considering themselves different branches of one spiritual family.

As far as these young people are concerned, it's just a weird family story. The real purpose of them meeting up with their Elders is so they can ask for some financial help.

In my opinion, the premise had promise. It kind of ties together the tropes commonly found in both witchcraft ritual horror and slasher films and it's interesting to see the concept of "evil ancient African magic" from the perspective of a film with an all-African-American cast (except for two out-of-place white people... guess who dies first?)

The performances were solid, but the script was really weak. The characters are put into an inescapable situation far too early in the film and don't make many intelligent attempts to save themselves, despite an obvious desire to. Toward the end, it seems that they wrote themselves into a corner: characters who know they have no chance of getting out of there simply jump into danger as if the writer didn't know how else to get rid of them. Because of this, the film doesn't really have an ending, which is it's biggest flaw.

Do I recommend this movie? Not really. It isn't great. Hell, it isn't even really good, but it fell into the following criteria:

1) I made it through to the end credits.
2) I didn't regret watching it.
3) I've seen a hell of a lot worse.

So, no. Sorry Netflixers. It's not the worst movie ever. It had the potential to be something much better, with a really strong cast, some good visual effects, and an interesting story idea. The script and storytelling was too weak to save it from being a 2.5 out of 5 in my book.

*giggle*

It's been one of those days. Which is why I'd like to end it with this:

Also, there is a bottle of bacon flavored syrup in my house. Not maple syrup with bacon flavor, but pure bacon syrup, made for cocktails and lattes. I really don't know what to make of this, but I think a shot of it is in my future.

Horror Movie Horrors: Fright Night (2011)

 The Fright Night remake wasn't really on my radar as far as must-see-movies were concerned. I have a long standing love of the vampire genre, but most of the films tend to disappoint me. From the trailers I saw (which, granted, were brief and infrequent) it looked like your oh-so-predictable teen flick that I felt I could summarize without even seeing: the virgins and/or drug users will get killed, the kid will find out about a vampire but no one will believe him, his parents will be unwitting obstacles to what he needs to accomplish, he will seek advice from an unwilling or unreliable Van Helsing, his girlfriend will be in peril and he'll figure out a way to save the day. Roll credits.

And this is without having seen the first film.

The first act of the film unfortunately played into my expectations - it seemed incredibly slow because I knew what was most likely going to happen and therefore no tension was built up. It wasn't bad, I just felt like I was watching an episode of a tv show I'd seen before.

Yes, I'm talking about you.

If I wasn't a fan of the genre and hadn't seen many films like this, the first act probably wouldn't have bothered me. It really establishes the main characters and the environment they live in. I just felt that, at times, the pacing was a little slow because I was waiting for the main character to know what I was already told in the trailer: Your neighbor is a vampire, try not to get eaten.

But things really picked up for the better in acts two and three. Without giving too much away, it was refreshing to see a vampire really take initiative and really pursue those who pose a threat to him rather than do nothing while the main characters stew and fret over the situation. The way the main character's mother was written was also a nice change. At one point, she is put into a situation in which she is asked not to answer the door. She has no reason to believe that she shouldn't, but because her son pleads with her to trust him and do as he says, she leaves the door unanswered. Rather than falling back on the same-old-same-old storytelling of automatically pitting the skeptical parent in the way of the teen protagonist, they subtly showed that their relationship is more realistic and complex than the average cardboard cut-out that we often get as parents in a teen flick.

Without gushing too much or going too fan girlish: this was the main reason I saw this film:

Totally going to be my new desktop wallpaper.

To anyone who doesn't recognize him: that is David Tennant doing his best Russel Brand impersonation. I really have to give both him and the screenwriter credit for how his character is introduced: as our unwilling Van Helsing, he initially comes across as shallow, selfish, and a bit of a prick. However, while our main character gets his first chance to talk to him one-on-one, he slowly sheds the physical facade of his stage persona: he removes his wig, fake piercings, and starts wiping away the "tattoos" that cover his neck and chest. I could be reading into this, but it really seemed like a brilliant but subtle way to tell the audience that Peter Vincent is a more developed and meaningful character than your first impressions would indicate. (Note, the following clip is trimmed down for time.)

I felt like everyone gave great performances in this film. It wasn't campy like I'm told the first Fright Night was, but the film didn't take itself too seriously. It was very genuine about the whole situation: what do you do if you're put in such an unbelievable situation - especially when lives are at stake?

It doesn't over-romanticize vampires: there is definitely a sex factor to Colin Farrell's character, but sex and attraction is used as a ploy to lure in victims. The film consciously responds to the Twilight version of vampires and makes it clear that this is taking us back to the vampires that made you hide under the covers as opposed to the ones who just stand there and watch you sleep because they're possessive  obsessed  "romantic".

Speaking of sex, I also liked how teenage sexuality was represented here. Rather than having the hot girl who wants to have sex be represented as a slut, talking about whether or not to have sex is simply a part of being a teenager in an intimate relationship. There isn't really any pressure whether or not to have sex- it's expressed at one point as just a "let's get under the covers and see what happens" situation. And when sex is going to occur for the first time, talking about whether or not they really want to is represented, albiet briefly. I just feel like this is more realistic and therefore makes it seem more genuine. From personal experience, and what I've heard from just about any one else I've talked to about sex, many teens/young adults feel they were a bit duped by how people fly passionately into each other's arms and sex simply happens rather than a couple deciding, whether through a long conversation ("Do you really feel you're ready for that sort of thing?") or a short one ("Wanna have sex?" "Sure.").

Given how much praise I have for the screenplay, it should have come as no surprise that it came from Marti Noxon - a writer/producer who I've loved for quite some time for her work with shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and others. Also, for her cameo in the musical episode "Once More With Feeling":

All-in-all: Go see Fright Night. It's well written, well directed, and the performances are more than you would normally expect to see from your average teen horror flick.

Unscheduled Detour

Just wanted to take a moment to say the following:

Life is hectic, stressful, and exhausting and can often feel like an endless list of things you need to do followed by an equally long list of obstacles - and it is wonderful, all the same. I think we often get so bogged down in our day to day struggles that we don't necessarily take the time to breathe and think about the good things that we have as opposed to the good things we want but can't yet acquire. Even simple things - like having a job, even if it is not the job that you want, or having a place of your own even if it's a little shabby around the edges.

It brings me back to something I was thinking about the other night - where I currently work, I get to do a lot of people watching and many of the people I see are tweens and young teenagers. I know that at that age, you never want to be told that you are still a child because it feels like it completely dismisses you as an intelligent being able to make your own decisions and rationalize about a situation. In simpler terms, it makes it sound like the adults around you think you're stupid. But many times, when adults tell you that you're still a child or that you shouldn't want to grow up too fast, it's not meant as an insult. It's simply because we can look back at ourselves at that age and recognize that we were not nearly as grown up as we thought we were - and we feel as if we can never go back to the way we felt as children. We can't go back to a time where we can lay out in the grass and feel the sun on our faces and not have to fight the urge to think about the bills we have to pay or the errands we have to run or that jerk in accounting.

I was always told that I was very mature for my age as a young teen (and to a certain extent, I agree). Even as I generally avoided the social dramas that seemed so important to many of my peers that I recognized as fleeting moments of overreaction, I still look back at myself in retrospect and think of how much I have changed in such a short amount of time. I wonder if I'll feel the same way in the next few years...

In any case, this was more of a free-flowing entry and is not really sticking to the theme of geekery, but I felt an urge to write it down. Even as I sit here, exhausted from a long day and thinking about all the work I'm going to have to do on my day off tomorrow, I'm glad that I can make a place in my mind to quietly think about the craziness of my life and how I would hate to miss a minute of it, good or bad.

Gen Con: A Love Story

I was blessed with a pass into Gen Con Indy this year. In between shifts at my job nearby, I've been doing my best to check out everything I can from the Con and report it back here, particularly since I was there in part to help Josh do some networking and fact finding for Game Gavel. I feel a level of obligation in reporting about the Con and all it's wonders, but I am now starting to second guess myself in exactly how I want to go about doing it. See, I could just list off the many events and things to see, but simply seeing an itinerary of Gen Con could give you all of that, in more detail than I may be able to provide. Instead, I feel like I really want to communicate what Gen Con is (at least in my experience). I know a number of people who are passionate about their conventions, many of whom have never heard of Gen Con. It compels me to try and capture some of the atmosphere as best I can.

I'm honestly surprised that some people disregard Gen Con as if it was some small get together of nerdy Midwesterners who happened to crawl out of their basements for a change. It's the nations largest annual consumer fantasy, sci-fi and adventure gaming convention. In gaming events alone, this year saw over 250,000 event tickets sold - and getting time at the tables is only one aspect of what one can do at Gen Con.

First off, Gen Con is really well located. It is within easy walking distance of many of the places downtown and is directly connected to Circle Center Mall (where I have my second job. It's nice how that worked out.) The parade of cosplayers that wander past the store fronts seeking the Food Court is quite a wonder to see. There are some stores in the mall that definitely fit the interests of some of those attracted to the Con (Teavanna has been seeing a constant stream of anime-themed cosplayers this year) and it's a relaxed atmosphere in which the initiated can let their freak flags fly among the general public. Knowing glances of people recognizing their common bonds based on t-shirt logos and intricate costumes gives a real sense of community: of being a part of the in-crowd. To really geek out: it's like being a wizard walking around muggles, most of whom have no idea why there are so many brightly colored wigs and guys walking around in full plate armor around every corner of downtown Indy.

'Sup.

Gen Con is, primarily, a gaming convention with a special focus on table top gaming. If you collect D20s like stereotypical women buy shoes, this is the convention for you. Events include RPGs, TCGs, card games, board games, LARPs, video games, you name it - they have it. Merchants sell virtually everything geek-related: pithy t-shirts, artwork, leather armor, corsets, handcrafted hats from all sorts of eras, foam weapons, potion pouches, every type of game imaginable... the list goes on.  

Medieval Collectibles = So awesome.

It's really no wonder that Gen Con is one of the largest and most promminent gaming conventions in North America when you consider it's history. It was started by the Great Gygax in 1968. (If you don't know who I'm talking about... I can only give you a sad look and point you in the direction of Google.) It really is a sizeable event, drawing in between 25,000 - over 30,000 attendees each year. This year it shattered it's previous records with a turnstile attendance record of over 119,707 over the course of the 96 hours of gaming, cosplay, music and more. While the exhibition hall (where I am, for the most part, limited to this year due to time constraints) has structured opening and closing schedules, there are games going on 24 hours a day during the 4-day event. I really look forward to being able to register for a game in the future - so far, that has been the one major aspect of Gen Con that I haven't been able to get my hands on. Even so, without getting a seat at the larger gaming tables, Gen Con gives all who attend a chance to get a hands-on look at the new games and products on display.

 And the gaming is really one of the beauties of Gen Con. Unlike Comic Con, which has gotten a lot of complaints recently about not really being about comic books anymore, Gen Con is for and by the gamers and the geeks. Nerds of every flavor get to come together and discuss their passions, in and out of the convention hall. For example, I had a pretty awesome conversation with a guy that started by me mentioning that a tea pot he was standing near in Teavanna reminded me of a TARDIS. Whether you're a dedicated LARPer or a part-time tabletop role player, or just excited about the gaming mediums on display, there is a genuine sense of community and acceptance there.  Sure, they have their celebrity appearances and seminars, the workshops and the tournaments, but in the end I think the best part of Gen Con Indy is the attendees themselves and the sheer joy they often bring to the table.

 Gen Con has also worked hard throughout the years to turn this celebration of gaming into positive change by helping children and educational programs through a number of charity events. This year, School on Wheels (a group that aims to help homeless children) was the recipient of over $18,000 through events like the Charity Speed Paint and Auction, Cardhalla (where participants build a city of stacked Magic cards and knocks them down on the last day with their donations), and an always-loved Jail and Bail, among others. 100 % of the proceeds went to the charity. Good Karma, guys.

"Gen Con Indy 2011 was simply the best Gen Con ever for us," said Adrian Swartout (CEO of Gen Con LLC)"We had such incredible support from our exhibitors, sponsors, event organizers and volenteers, and of course, the amazing businesses and people of Indianapolis. We are so thankful to have their partnership in crafting the world's finest experience in gaming. Next year, Gen Con has its 45th anniversary. We are too excited for words at the amount of fun we are already planning for next August."

And I can't wait to be there with bells on.

Hopefully I'll be able to get better pics of the steampunkery I threw together on Sunday.

For more information visit the website at www.gencon.com  . For up-to-the minute details, find us at www.facebook.com/genconindy and at www.twitter.com/gen_con .

Future Gen Con Indy Show DatesGen Con has been in Indianapolis since 2003 and has signed a five-year extension with the Indianapolis Convention & Visitors Association (ICVA) for 2011-2015. Below are the upcoming show dates.
August 16-19, 2012
August 15-18, 2013
August 14-17, 2014
July 30 - August 2, 2015

Next time Eventually, I'll give you a little more detail about the awesome folks who I got to talk to this year.

Nerd vs Geek vs Being a Girl

I am a bit of a word-nut. I love discovering etymologies and following the historical changes in word usage. I was never one to sit and read the dictionary for fun, but in some ways I'm a little surprised that I never did.

I have other academic texts that I read 'just for fun'.

But the dictionary isn't much help when it comes to this question. According to Google's dictionary, there is some difference, but it is subtle.

Nerd - 1) A foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious 2) An intelligent, single-minded expert in a particular technical discipline or profession.


Geek - 1) an unfashionable or socially inept person 2) person with an eccentric devotion to a particular interest 3) a carnival performer who does particularly wild or disgusting acts.

If you get this reference, I love you all the more.

We can obviously disregard the carnival definition, as it's obviously not the useage most common today. Or else this site would be dedicated to a curvy woman who likes doing odd things to chickens or some such thing.

Both definitions describe someone with a lack of social graces, someone who is not socially desirable, and both have elements of expertise or obsession in a subject (with or without practical application).

In broadening the search to looking into the origins of these words, it also doesn't really clear things up. Geek comes from geck, a Scottish word meaning fool, which some have attributed to Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Nerd isn't all that old, popping up in the 50s, and it's not really clear why it started being used. Dr. Seus used the word as a nonsensical in If I Ran the Zoo, and some theorize that kids decided to insult one another with this cool sounding word. Others claim the word knurd (the reverse of drunk) was coined by students describing those of their peers who were a bit too studious.

 I've found myself having a number of conversations with people about the difference between 'nerd' and 'geek'. I'll start out by stressing that the English language has a lot of variation to it - while there are set definitions to words, the way they are used an differentiated varies not only between regions of the world but simply from person to person. 

A collection of what the internet tells us about geeks and nerds:

Venn Diagram from Great White Snark

Geek - Very knowledgeable of a specific topic (electronics, comic books, etc)
Nerd - Very knowledgeable across a wide variety of subjects (book smart)
Dork - socially awkward and not mutually exclusive of nerd/geek. - toomuch at MetaFilter

Geek is a term of admiration, nerd is a term of ambivalence, and dork is a term of derision.  - gyusan at MetaFilter

To me nerd is socially related, and geek is interest related.... I think of geekdom as something you can be obsessed with, something to collect, what do you watch, what do you look up in the internet (which didn't exist during my first experiences in geekdom). To me, a nerd is more of a social position. - Mayim Bialik, (Big Bang Theory, Blossom)

 No nerd calculates so hard, gets such perfect grades, to be called a geek. Likewise, no geek spends 3 weeks putting together the perfect steam punk ensemble to be called a nerd. Too many people use the terms “geek” and “nerd” almost interchangeably. While the key differences between the two may be relatively minor to some, they are critical to those in the know. - WolfGnards.com

How do I weigh in on things? 

For one thing, I think that nerd and geek are far more interchangeable than some word purists want to believe. I actually don't know anyone who self identifies as a geek who would care about being called a nerd, any more than they would care about being called a geek. It would depend on the context in which the word was being used rather than which word was chosen. A geek whose geeky friend laughingly calls them a nerd because they're excited about the way they took out a Legion outpost on the outskirts of New Vegas is probably not going to react differently because of the word choice. Someone who is trying to insult someone by calling them a geek or a nerd probably won't win any points by picking one other the other.

That being said, there are elements of social awkwardness to nerd that I personally don't see applying to geek, just as there are elements of fandom obsession in geek that aren't necessarily in nerd. But it's not like there is a brick wall between the two terms. A male nerd can be a Star Wars geek and not know how to talk to girls without promptly making an awkward ass of himself. A female gaming geek can be a total textbook nerd in an academic subject that interests her (RE: first picture posted in this article).


How does being a girl fit into all of this?

I'll reassure anyone who may feel like any mention of gender differences is an instant warning sign that the writer is about to go into an extreme anti-men rant about how the world would be much better without penises. Far from it. But I think it is interesting to look at how femininity fits into the geek world. 

She has nice boobs, but is that necessary?

 Let's take Kari Byron for example. When she was hired, it was not to be a host in front of the camera. She repeatedly showed up to Jamie's M5 Industries workshops with a desire to get hired by his special effects company. She worked behind the scenes until being put in front of the camera with any regularity, and has said that she found it uncomfortable and difficult to act naturally at first when getting more screen time. Yet she is repeatedly accused of being the token female. 

I feel like I've had challenges constantly while being on "Mythbusters," a lot of backlash like “That's the only reason you're on the show, you're a token girl”, which is absolutely not the case. I worked really hard to get on this show, And I do everything that everyone else on the show does. I laugh at those comments now and I kind of take it as a compliment, like, “Oh, you just said I was pretty. I'll take that.” Because I don't validate anything else that you've said.

 But she's still photographed in a provocatively sexy manner when promoting the show. Is this her fault? No. But it does add fuel to the fire when people think she's only there to be a pretty pair of boobs.


In the same interview, Kari and Mayim talked about the pretty girl nerd:

Bialik: I was on the floor at Comic -Con and there as a gorgeous, five-foot-nine, busty woman in a teeny, tiny Ewok outfit with tattoos and her belly out, and she wore a button that said “I love nerd girls.” And this is my bias, you know, but I thought, “You don't look anything like a nerd girl. You're stunning, you have an awesome stomach, you're wearing an Ewok bikini, you're busty, you're tall.” And I'm thinking, wow, how much the image has changed. She was at least ten years younger than me. And I was thinking, its like the 3rd wave of feminism... 3rd wave is like “I can look however I want, you still have no right to challenge me about my intellect. But it was just so funny because that would never have been my image of a geek...

Byron: I've noticed sort of a backlash against attractive girls that happen to be nerds or gamers, almost constantly challenging the fact that's they're nerds or geeks as if there's no way that's a possibility...

 Female attractiveness is often a source of social division. Traditional beauty adds social value (statistically more likely to get hired for better paying jobs, get services at discounts, etc.) and is many times used to categorize women into the physical haves and have-nots.

What I find interesting and strange is how the geek/nerd community has twisted this hierarchy around somewhat. Lots of geeks want to go to conventions to see the busty cosplaying Slave Leias, but also deny them a level of legitimacy as nerds because of their attractive appearance. On the other hand, a Catwoman whose got a little extra weight on her than the comic book ideal won't be as flocked-to by those snapping pictures, but is taken more seriously if she starts discussing the intricacies of Dungeons and Dragons.

On a personal note, I think that these kinds of hierarchies or fights over who is a 'real' geek do more harm than good. It's similar to a branch of the body acceptance movement that berates the slender body image popularized by the media, saying that "real women" are larger and curvier. Does that make the women who are naturally thin somehow not real? Are you less of a woman because of the size and shape of your body? Who gets to decide what is the "real" body that typifies womanhood, because isn't that the kind of behavior that you're objecting to in the first place?

Crossover Time: MK Edition

When my fiance turned to me this afternoon, he posed this little riddle:

"I know you're not feeling up to it right now, but I want you to guess who the next Mortal Kombat DLC character is. He fits in perfectly with the world of MK and has nine movies to his credit."

Given that I had just gotten home from a job interview on a minimal amount of what may be called sleep, I was not exactly in the mind set required for guessing games. In fact, my brain spent more time trying to come up with the word 'tumbleweeds' to describe my mental capacity than actually attempting a guess.

Then, he gave his final clue: running his fingernails against the side of our CPU. I instantly got it.

Still guessing?

Points for creativity, but no. That's not it.

Check out the Mortal Kombat new DLC trailer (HD) at GameTrailers.com. It's ok. I'll wait.

Holy Slasher, Batman! (Or would that be more like 'Unholy'?) I would have never thought of it, but he's kind of a perfect addition when considering the crossover capabilities of the series. When you can take characters from any universe and move them into Out World, I'm honestly surprised that we haven't seen more franchises making cameos in a long standing series like MK.

Some crossovers are not as successful as others.

Seriously? One hit kill there.

The DC crossover was a bit of a failure in my opinion, partially because DC didn't want any of their heroes killing their opponents. They do know that this is Mortal Kombat, right? It was like they saw Marvel vs Capcom and wanted to jump on board with their own rendition. But while Street Fighter is more about the cool moves and the defeats, MK has always been about the over-the-top brutality and murder. Fatalities are one of the places where the series really shines - so to have characters that don't perform really perform them... it just seems out of place and awkward.

From what I have heard (given that I have MK on XBox, I don't have first hand experience) Kratos was an interesting addition to the series, though he telegraphs his moves too much to be much of a competitor against an opponent who knows their way around the combos.

Even with some not-so-great attempts, I am encouraged by the idea of future franchise crossovers in MK, especially from the horror genre. I think it would breathe some new life into the series - keep things from going stale. Also, I would hope that they use these crossover characters a little better than, say, Soul Calibur, which kind of have their guests show up to the party, but don't try to fit them into the storyline any more than through some slow-as-hell scrolling text. Then again, Soul Calibur isn't exactly story driven, but I appreciate the kind of continuity that the story modes in the latest MK give. Rather than it just being about the fighting, I like that there is a fairly well developed interpersonal and political story behind each of the characters. Some more than others.


Any ideas about who else should make the list?